O x y m o r o n s

• 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?


• 2. Why is the third hand On the watch Called the second hand?


• 3. If a word is misspelled In the dictionary, How would we ever know?


• 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, Where did he find the words?


• 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?


• 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?


• 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" Mean the same thing?


• 8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?


• 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" When we are already there?


• 10. Why are they called " stands" When they are made for sitting?


• 11. Why is it called "after dark" When it really is "after light"?


• 12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" Make the unexpected expected?


• 13.. Why are a "wise man" and A "wise guy" opposites?


• 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" Mean opposite things?


• 15. Why is "phonics" Not spelled The way it sounds?


• 16. If work is so terrific, Why do they have to pay you to do it?


• 17.. If all the world is a stage, Where is the audience sitting?


• 18. If love is blind, Why is lingerie so popular?


• 19. If you are cross-eyed And have dyslexia, Can you read all right?


• 20. Why is bra singular And panties plural?


• 21.. Why do you press harder On the buttons of a remote control When you know the batteries are dead?


• 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags And garments in a suitcase?


• 23. How come abbreviated Is such a long word?


• 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?


• 25.. Why doesn't glue Stick to the inside of the bottle?


• 26. Why do they call it a TV set When you only have one?


• 27. Christmas - What other time of the year Do you sit in front of a dead tree And eat candy out of your socks?


• 28. Why do we drive on a parkway And park on a driveway?


• I dunno, why do we?