A construction crew is hard after it on a large hotel project. The plumbers are inside doing there thing and the brick layers are doing theirs on the outside. Let’s say I am a brick layer, I’m mixing my mortar and climbing the scaffolding, doing my thing. I then see some plumbers carrying in some pipe into the building. My dad used to do a little plumbing and I do a little at my own house, so I go to check it out. While watching them I notice that it all looks strange to me and the complexity of it all looks wrong. So I say to them that this and that could be done this way and that. I also suggest that they could use this tool and that tool as I do myself at home and have seen others do. The plumbers, with their extensive plans and orders laid out if front of them, stop working and gather around me. They ask “ are you a job boss?” “do you work for the foreman?” “have the plans and orders changed?” - I say, I was just noticing this and that could be done this and that way and…The Job foreman walks up right then. “what is going on here, why are you guys not working and what are you doing over here, don’t you work outside on the brick.” So I say, well i know a little about plumbing and wanted to help these guys out, it all looks strange to me, so I suggested this and that be done like such and such. They all look at each other and back at me, then they scan over the plans and discuss this and that and such and such. The foreman then dismisses the plumbers and asks them to get back to work according to the plans and orders they had originally discussed. He then turns to me and says “thank you for your wisdom and concern, we have duly noted all of it and they will now go back to work. Now let’s get you back out there laying brick, where you are suppose to be. If there are any other “suggestions” that you might have please inform your “boss” he will tell me and we can build a better project here, we might even switch you to that job if indeed we find you to be helpful in it, more so than your current position. But we do not need any more distraction and we really need both the plumbing and the bricks to be finished by such and such dates. So I return to my bricks and finish out the wall and the plumbers get back to work and finished their plumbing.
The whole time I was not laying brick and talking with the plumbers, nothing was getting done according to plan. They had to stop their job to engage with me, now they wanted to do right and were concerned about this so they did “respect” what I said, but when all was said and done I did not help them I hindered them. The job of this scope went well beyond my “home” knowledge. The fact that I had been laying bricks and not being involved from the beginning caused my judgment to be skewed anyway. Since the purpose for all of us to be there was to build a motel and brick laying and plumbing were both part of that goal, I was helping with neither by leaving the one to instruct the other. Now the “foreman” was polite and responded correctly to me and escorted me back to my place, everything was back to where it was suppose to be.
This is the main reason the “kingdom” is not being built on schedule and in order. The wall was not getting built (my job) and the plumbing was not being done (your job). We all need to be and do what the foreman has set out for us to do. We all have a place that Christ has appointed us and equipped us for. We must all do our part to complete the whole. When one leaves their job and “becomes the expert” at another’s, they do not lend themselves to the overall productivity of the project.
So now that this has been said, I must excuse myself and go back to work also
Oh and - I hope what I suggested in your plumbing operation was or will helpful - good day.
Thank you “foreman” for setting me straight. Whether you are the plumber or the brick layer we need to get back to work now.
(This was in prayerful response to “others” and “myself” “occasionally” bouncing off each other on my page and in my ministry, I got the above picture in my head and decided to share)
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Kastyns Birthday gift
I think I overdid it with the adorable. My daughters showed me a picture of an outfit like this and I went to town on it.
I made her an outfit to wear to the party and a bib to wear when she eats cake. Then a hat to wear because its cold.
Her momma said she already has a pair of black tights and black shoes.
I made her an outfit to wear to the party and a bib to wear when she eats cake. Then a hat to wear because its cold.
Her momma said she already has a pair of black tights and black shoes.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Missionary update November 16, 2013
From: Brenda Lange," Bush Bunny Brenda"
Date: November 16, 2013
TONS OF FOOD FEEDING THE HUNGRY (Thanks to your Love Gifts) SEVEN major food distributions were carried out this week in Balama and Meluco Districts. Our 7 ton Nissan truck left at 4:30a.m. Monday morning, loaded with 6 tons of corn, soap, and salt as part of a 2 day major food give out that covered the 46 orphans in the far West side of Meluco (Revia Village near the game reserve), and the 115 orphans in the Elephant Village (East side) of Meluco District. During these 3 days of give outs, 10 TONS of corn and 2 tons of beans were distributed for food and planting purposes. On the same days, our 6 tons Nissan delivered seed and food corn to the 477 orphans and 240 widows in the Impire and Mango Church give outs in Balama District. MULTI-TASKING TO MEET THE NEEDS The 3 man crew on our 7 ton truck who were giving out food in Meluco this week are also the WATER WELL FIX IT TEAM. Manuel and his 2 truck assistants, do all the water well repairs under normal circumstances. Super “all around FIX IT MAN”, Eric Dry, pitched in and trained up our Youth Pastors, Carlitos Jorge and Nelson (16 year old orphan) as water well assistants this week as both are very mechanically minded. Together, this 3 man team repaired two water wells this week in villages that had no other source of water. Fast action is needed to prevent disease and suffering, for life is tough in a village of 5,000 people when there is no water and the temperatures are 95 degree F (35 C) by 10 a.m. daily.
JORGINA HOME FROM HOSPITAL
Jorgina is doing well after 8 days in the hospital with a respiratory problem. She’s smiling and playing again with her new found “family”, as Fatima, her foster mother, has 5 children. Nice to have our family all “home” again. Thank you for your prayers for a fast healing for our fragile little girl. Now to get her eating again, so she can regain the weight she lost last week. DECLINGING PEACE NEEDS PRAYER COVERAGE Please keep us and our orphans in prayer, as there were 4 more clashes between both sides last night taking several lives. These incidents are 500-700 miles south of Balama, so we are in no immediate danger. However, the first incident in Pemba occurred Wed. when the 18 year old daughter of a wealthy restaurant owner was kidnapped. She managed to escape the kidnappers get-away car thanks to a slow moving truck that slowed them to a crawl in highway traffic. This intelligent young lady realized her captor’s guns were fakes, so she jumped from the slow moving car as it tried to pass the truck on an uphill grade. That took courage and probably saved her life. The BIBLE says that in these End Times, there will be wars and rumors of wars. Standing on God’s Word is the ONLY REFUGE that is totally safe for any of us, no matter where we live. Eric and I, as well as our staff, are taking all precautions and using much wisdom in coordinating our travel programs. We are not moved by FEAR, but ONLY BY THE WORD OF GOD. Thanks for being there for us in this time of need. Blessings, Bush Bunny Brenda Lange Eric Dry |
Monday, November 11, 2013
Sunday, November 10, 2013
A little riddle
I once made
a remark about the hidden books of the bible.
It was a Lulu, kept people looking so hard for facts and for other it
was a revelation. Some were in a jam. Especially since the names of the books were
not capitalized. But the truth finally
struck home to numbers of readers.
To others it
was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating
few moments for you. Yes there will be
some really easy ones to spot. Others
may require judges to help them. I will
quickly admit it usually takes a minister to find one of them and there will be
loud lamentations when it is found.
A lady said
she brews a cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can compete.
Relax now
for there are sixteen names of the books of the bible in this study.
Missionary update November 9, 2013
FROM: BRENDA LANGE, "BUSH BUNNY BRENDA"
DATE: NOVEMBER 9, 2013
PRECIOUS BABY JORGINA MAKING RECOVERY FROM RESPIRITORY INFECTION,
NO TB, PRAISE THE LORD...
STORY BELOW:
This picture was taken on the day we received Jorgina into the program.
BABY JORGINA IN HOSPITAL
When Jorgina was given to us last week, she had a nasty cough, and was given antibiotics by our Balama Doctor.
On Thursday, this week, I went to do a house visit and Fatima, her foster mother, who told me that Jorgina had a restless night.
Off we went to the hospital emergency room, as it was only 6a.m. (sun is up at 4:30a.m. so Africa is on the move).
The male nurse in the Emergency Room turned Jorgina onto her tummy to listen to her chest, and she immediately went into a distressed breathing pattern. He told us that she would be admitted, and began looking for a vein in her tiny little arm. With IV antibiotics she is doing well, and is supposed to be released on Monday if all goes as planned. It didn’t slow her appetite any, as our little “milk guzzler” is making up for lost time by drinking 2 cans of formula a week.
TUBERCULOSIS SCARE WITH JORGINA
Jorgina was tested for TB, as her mother died of this horrible disease. This fact was unknown to us or to Social Services, until the Doctor looked at the baby’s birth card, recognizing the mother’s name. These are the types of “challenges” we risk when working with orphans in a country where TB is still a killer. BUT PRAISE THE LORD! The test was NEGATIVE for TB. Seems she just has a nasty respiratory infection coupled by a weak immune system due to her severe state of malnutrition. PHEW! A positive test would have meant that my entire staff and the foster family had been exposed.
MELISSA OLMESDAHL to return to South Africa to assist with Youth Ministry.
Melissa will say goodbye to us this coming week, when she returns to work with young people in South Africa.
We want to say THANKS, MELISSA! You have done a great job in helping with our Youth Ministry, and training up leaders who can carry on the work.
We wish you well in God’s next assignment for your life.
When Jorgina was given to us last week, she had a nasty cough, and was given antibiotics by our Balama Doctor.
On Thursday, this week, I went to do a house visit and Fatima, her foster mother, who told me that Jorgina had a restless night.
Off we went to the hospital emergency room, as it was only 6a.m. (sun is up at 4:30a.m. so Africa is on the move).
The male nurse in the Emergency Room turned Jorgina onto her tummy to listen to her chest, and she immediately went into a distressed breathing pattern. He told us that she would be admitted, and began looking for a vein in her tiny little arm. With IV antibiotics she is doing well, and is supposed to be released on Monday if all goes as planned. It didn’t slow her appetite any, as our little “milk guzzler” is making up for lost time by drinking 2 cans of formula a week.
TUBERCULOSIS SCARE WITH JORGINA
Jorgina was tested for TB, as her mother died of this horrible disease. This fact was unknown to us or to Social Services, until the Doctor looked at the baby’s birth card, recognizing the mother’s name. These are the types of “challenges” we risk when working with orphans in a country where TB is still a killer. BUT PRAISE THE LORD! The test was NEGATIVE for TB. Seems she just has a nasty respiratory infection coupled by a weak immune system due to her severe state of malnutrition. PHEW! A positive test would have meant that my entire staff and the foster family had been exposed.
MELISSA OLMESDAHL to return to South Africa to assist with Youth Ministry.
Melissa will say goodbye to us this coming week, when she returns to work with young people in South Africa.
We want to say THANKS, MELISSA! You have done a great job in helping with our Youth Ministry, and training up leaders who can carry on the work.
We wish you well in God’s next assignment for your life.
Thanks, Melissa, for your help with food and supply distribution in the villages.
Thanks, too, for your ministry with the kids in the villages and in Balama. The kids are going to miss you, as will we.
Melissa jumping for joy with the little girls.
OUR 2 BIG RIGS MOVING TONS OF FOOD JUST AHEAD OF THE RAINY SEASON
On Tuesday, we moved 13 TONS of corn and beans to Kwe Kwe area’s 9 villages, home to 450 orphans cared for by 120 widows. This was their final food give out as the Rainy Season is upon us. It rained hard enough on Monday night to settle the dust, which we were all thankful for.
Thursday, we distributed to our 300+ orphans and widows in Balama.
Friday, found our 2 big rigs moving 8.5 TONS for corn and beans to the MANGO TREE CHURCH for distribution to 256 orphans cared for by 158 widows in 7 villages. The children were thrilled to receive the cloths packets that Program Director Nilza had made for them. These children will receive their final food drop on Nov. 18th.
IF YOU HAVE 2 COATS, GIVE ONE AWAY
THE BIBLE SAYS THAT IF WE HAVE “2 COATS”, WE SHOULD SHARE WITH SOMEONE IN NEED.
YOU SHARED YOUR “COAT” THROUGH YOUR LOVE GIFTS TO THESE ORPHANS.
PUT YOUR LOVE GIFT TOGETHER WITH THE LOVE OF JESUS, AND YOU LIGHT UP THE EYES OF A CHILD.
A BIBLE STORY CONTAINING A LIFE LESSON ON HOW TO WALK CLOSER TO JESUS IS PRESENTED BEFORE EACH FOOD DISTRIBUTION.
JESUS’ LOVE BRINGS HOPE TO THESE CHILDREN.
YOU CARED TO SHARE AND OUR KIDS LOVE YOU FOR IT!
BLESSINGS,
Bush Bunny Brenda
Eric Dry
Melissa Olmesdahl
On Tuesday, we moved 13 TONS of corn and beans to Kwe Kwe area’s 9 villages, home to 450 orphans cared for by 120 widows. This was their final food give out as the Rainy Season is upon us. It rained hard enough on Monday night to settle the dust, which we were all thankful for.
Thursday, we distributed to our 300+ orphans and widows in Balama.
Friday, found our 2 big rigs moving 8.5 TONS for corn and beans to the MANGO TREE CHURCH for distribution to 256 orphans cared for by 158 widows in 7 villages. The children were thrilled to receive the cloths packets that Program Director Nilza had made for them. These children will receive their final food drop on Nov. 18th.
IF YOU HAVE 2 COATS, GIVE ONE AWAY
THE BIBLE SAYS THAT IF WE HAVE “2 COATS”, WE SHOULD SHARE WITH SOMEONE IN NEED.
YOU SHARED YOUR “COAT” THROUGH YOUR LOVE GIFTS TO THESE ORPHANS.
PUT YOUR LOVE GIFT TOGETHER WITH THE LOVE OF JESUS, AND YOU LIGHT UP THE EYES OF A CHILD.
A BIBLE STORY CONTAINING A LIFE LESSON ON HOW TO WALK CLOSER TO JESUS IS PRESENTED BEFORE EACH FOOD DISTRIBUTION.
JESUS’ LOVE BRINGS HOPE TO THESE CHILDREN.
YOU CARED TO SHARE AND OUR KIDS LOVE YOU FOR IT!
BLESSINGS,
Bush Bunny Brenda
Eric Dry
Melissa Olmesdahl
Thursday, November 7, 2013
The wealthy man by Darren Cole Butcher
The wealthiest man in the world went in searched for a bride, looking in each town, city and street. He finally came into a certain part of one of the places he looked, there was a woman there that was homeless retched and blind. She had been a whore, murderer and a thief. Now she just sat in the dark corners of the deepest pits in the town. He looked her over, then proclaimed to her that he was choosing her. All throughout the world the news went out that he had chosen a bride. He reached down to her and lifted her into his arms, then took her to his house. She was bathed, given every treatment she needed and her old shabby clothes were exchanged for glorious dresses and exquisite robes. After he eyes had been looked at and tended to, she regained her sight. Her skin began to lose the “dirty look” that it had taken on from all the nights in the streets.
The man brought her before him after all that he had, had been invested in her. She stood before him as a radiant, beautiful bride. He proclaimed to her that all he had was hers, the bank account, the cars, the houses and more. She fell to the floor and wept, being overwhelmed with the changes that were taking place. He went to her and lifted her into his arms, holding her close. She cried and cried and cried, the years of pain and grief she had bore fell to the floor with her tears. All she could do is allow him to pull her in and embrace her, she had no strength left in herself.
When she would walk out into where she used to live, no one dare say she was the same woman that he had chosen. He had to have gotten rid of the woman they knew very well and replaced her. They went to him and asked what had happened to the woman that he had picked to be his wife. He responded that they were correct, he had gotten rid of the woman that they had knew and replaced her with another. The woman that now stood before them was a brand new woman.
When they asked her where she had come from and who she was, she had some remembrance of this other woman and talked briefly of her. But then she went into great detail about who she was. How his fullness of love was what she had become, all that he had was hers. They pleaded with her to tell them from where she had come from. She only responded by telling and showing them all who she had become.
The other woman seemed to have disappeared. Her clothes or her person could not be found. The people thought to themselves, surely she was put away and destroyed once he saw who she was. The new couple would sit together where ever they would go and look on each other with such love with knowing smiles of what had really been and what now was. The people would look on in amazement when the would see small glimpses of that same woman in her, but none dare say that she was not changed and made new in every way possible.
She thought to herself often about the love and undeserved favor that she had received from her husband. The woman would only smile with such a smile of that of a child that was embraced after having been lost in a cold forest over night, to have been found , warmed, fed and wrapped up in a warm blanket. Her countenance was that of a beloved bride and not of a murderous, retched whore. The woman’s hands had even lost their dingy, calloused texture. They had now become the hands of a queen, soft tender and manicured to perfection. He would hold those hands often while watching each sundown and look over her with such affection, it would warm the hearts of all who were near. Now he would ever so rarely think on her as who he had found, but more so as who was before him. This love that they had was pure and right in every way, there was no flaw in either one as they lived their lives as one.
This woman’s reality became every other girl’s longing. From the houses in the best neighborhoods, into the darkest corners of the streets from where she had come, they all talked (and dreamed) of how they would one day receive the same treatment from their husband. It was a perfect picture of love and grace. No one could say that it was not a marriage “made in heaven”, it was what some would call perfect.
The best news about this story is that in the end all the hoping and fantasizing that all would have such fortune, was realized and found to be obtainable through Christ. Has he not come to you in such a fashion as described above? If the one you responded to has not done all that was listed, you have responded to the love of another, not the pure love described hence. If we remain as we were, we have not been brought into all that he has, is and will be. We did not go to him as we declared to all, that we had. We do not sit with him and attract the admiration of all as the woman above did. We even declare that we are retched, blind and lost, but one day our “prince” will come, while in truth we have missed the meaning, purpose and plan of the original invitation. It is to come away now and become all that his wealth, love and ability can transform us into. We are to become the radiance of his glory and walk through this “old neighborhood” of ours and glow with splendor, because of who we have become.
Now who in their right mind does not want this? Which of us that has truly received all this listed here for us now does not want to fall deeper into the “fairytale” world? I personally am done talking and even being who I once was. We need to lose ourselves in the truth of the gospel and stop talking about that it will be a one day thing, it is for today and a present reality that is available to all. Let us freshly look at the invitation that is being offered us, let us not lie to ourselves and say we have went away with “this man” if yet we are still blind, retched and lost. Let us cry out to him anew and say wait, do not leave me here, I do want what you have proclaimed, make me new, make me whole, clean me Jesus. I want to be who your love makes me into. No more me, I want all of you. Then I, we and you can rest in him and be all that we were meant to be with him.
Make this your reality and fall in love afresh with God today, for Jesus is the invitation to the world above, no longer go, speak of or be what was, only that which is and will be.
God bless you today as you live this life.
The man brought her before him after all that he had, had been invested in her. She stood before him as a radiant, beautiful bride. He proclaimed to her that all he had was hers, the bank account, the cars, the houses and more. She fell to the floor and wept, being overwhelmed with the changes that were taking place. He went to her and lifted her into his arms, holding her close. She cried and cried and cried, the years of pain and grief she had bore fell to the floor with her tears. All she could do is allow him to pull her in and embrace her, she had no strength left in herself.
When she would walk out into where she used to live, no one dare say she was the same woman that he had chosen. He had to have gotten rid of the woman they knew very well and replaced her. They went to him and asked what had happened to the woman that he had picked to be his wife. He responded that they were correct, he had gotten rid of the woman that they had knew and replaced her with another. The woman that now stood before them was a brand new woman.
When they asked her where she had come from and who she was, she had some remembrance of this other woman and talked briefly of her. But then she went into great detail about who she was. How his fullness of love was what she had become, all that he had was hers. They pleaded with her to tell them from where she had come from. She only responded by telling and showing them all who she had become.
The other woman seemed to have disappeared. Her clothes or her person could not be found. The people thought to themselves, surely she was put away and destroyed once he saw who she was. The new couple would sit together where ever they would go and look on each other with such love with knowing smiles of what had really been and what now was. The people would look on in amazement when the would see small glimpses of that same woman in her, but none dare say that she was not changed and made new in every way possible.
She thought to herself often about the love and undeserved favor that she had received from her husband. The woman would only smile with such a smile of that of a child that was embraced after having been lost in a cold forest over night, to have been found , warmed, fed and wrapped up in a warm blanket. Her countenance was that of a beloved bride and not of a murderous, retched whore. The woman’s hands had even lost their dingy, calloused texture. They had now become the hands of a queen, soft tender and manicured to perfection. He would hold those hands often while watching each sundown and look over her with such affection, it would warm the hearts of all who were near. Now he would ever so rarely think on her as who he had found, but more so as who was before him. This love that they had was pure and right in every way, there was no flaw in either one as they lived their lives as one.
This woman’s reality became every other girl’s longing. From the houses in the best neighborhoods, into the darkest corners of the streets from where she had come, they all talked (and dreamed) of how they would one day receive the same treatment from their husband. It was a perfect picture of love and grace. No one could say that it was not a marriage “made in heaven”, it was what some would call perfect.
The best news about this story is that in the end all the hoping and fantasizing that all would have such fortune, was realized and found to be obtainable through Christ. Has he not come to you in such a fashion as described above? If the one you responded to has not done all that was listed, you have responded to the love of another, not the pure love described hence. If we remain as we were, we have not been brought into all that he has, is and will be. We did not go to him as we declared to all, that we had. We do not sit with him and attract the admiration of all as the woman above did. We even declare that we are retched, blind and lost, but one day our “prince” will come, while in truth we have missed the meaning, purpose and plan of the original invitation. It is to come away now and become all that his wealth, love and ability can transform us into. We are to become the radiance of his glory and walk through this “old neighborhood” of ours and glow with splendor, because of who we have become.
Now who in their right mind does not want this? Which of us that has truly received all this listed here for us now does not want to fall deeper into the “fairytale” world? I personally am done talking and even being who I once was. We need to lose ourselves in the truth of the gospel and stop talking about that it will be a one day thing, it is for today and a present reality that is available to all. Let us freshly look at the invitation that is being offered us, let us not lie to ourselves and say we have went away with “this man” if yet we are still blind, retched and lost. Let us cry out to him anew and say wait, do not leave me here, I do want what you have proclaimed, make me new, make me whole, clean me Jesus. I want to be who your love makes me into. No more me, I want all of you. Then I, we and you can rest in him and be all that we were meant to be with him.
Make this your reality and fall in love afresh with God today, for Jesus is the invitation to the world above, no longer go, speak of or be what was, only that which is and will be.
God bless you today as you live this life.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Missionary update November 2, 2013
From : Brenda Sue Lange,
Baby Jorgina, born May 17th, lost her mother from surgical complications 2 months ago. Weighing only 7.2 lbs (3.3kg) at 5.5 months of age, she is in a severely malnourished condition called “failure to thrive”. Her father and aunt walked in from 12 miles away to ask help in early September. (Due to the wife’s illness/surgery their corn/bean fields were neglected and the harvest was poor.) So the father as well as the other 4 children in the family, are severely malnourished and were admitted into our feeding program immediately. All are recovering well except Baby Jorgina.
Jorgina has been sick with diarrhea and respiratory infections most of October. The father is overwhelmed with his new responsibility of being both mother and father to his 4 older children, and the aunt has failed to properly care for Jorgina.
The father realized Thursday that Jorgina would not survive without better care, and agreed to allow us to accept Jorgina into our family for a year. Our girl’s home is full with 4 of the 6 girls being under 6, so church member Fatima, agreed to love and care for Jorgina.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU, JORGINA, NOW HAS A CHANCE TO BE ALL THAT GOD PLANNED FOR HER TO BE.
Our little Jorgina needs a $30/month sponsor to provide her with baby food/formula, clothing, and the love of her substitute mother.
THE STARVING WIDOW AND ELIJAH STORY COME TO LIFE
Unknown to me and our Pastors, Fatima, (story above) and her 4 children had just run out of food in their home on the day we contacted her! When I asked Dominica, our Woman’s Pastor, to find me a widow who would love Jorgina as her own, Fatima’s name immediately came to mind.
When we did the house inspection, the lack of food was immediately evident. Without hesitation, we organized food for this family. Fatima also needs her roof fixed, as the grass has mostly blown away and she has no latrine. Rainy season is upon us later this month, so we have no time to lose.
Grass to fix the roof will costs $60.
Building her a latrine/bathing area from local materials: $55.
GEARING UP FOR AWANA GAMES
With only 1 set of bean bags, track batons, and tug-o-war rope, we needed to go shopping before we could outfit all our teams with what they needed. As Larry Friend from AWANA Int. left for the airport, Eric took him to our hardware store in Pemba where they fetched plastic pipe for making the batons and colored cloth for the bean bags. Last weekend, I was able to buy the large tug-o-war rope that the kids love so much.
The pipes are now painted the famous 4 colors (blue, red, yellow, and green), and the bean bags are being made on our pedal sewing machine as I write this.
With 3 major food distributions to the orphans in remote villages keeping our small staff super busy this week, our goal is to get the materials ready so that the AWANA programs can begin by Nov. 15th.
Never let a bad situation bring out the worst in you.
CHOOSE to stay Positive and BE the STRONG PERSON that GOD created you to be!
With all of our challenges lately, I posted this on my bedroom wall to help keep me focused on JESUS’ WILL and not mine!
Blessings,
Bush Bunny Brenda Lange and the Balama staff
Eric Dry
Melissa Olmesdahl
Bush Bunny Brenda
Date: November 2, 2013
JORGINA JOINS OUR FAMILY
JORGINA JOINS OUR FAMILY
Baby Jorgina, born May 17th, lost her mother from surgical complications 2 months ago. Weighing only 7.2 lbs (3.3kg) at 5.5 months of age, she is in a severely malnourished condition called “failure to thrive”. Her father and aunt walked in from 12 miles away to ask help in early September. (Due to the wife’s illness/surgery their corn/bean fields were neglected and the harvest was poor.) So the father as well as the other 4 children in the family, are severely malnourished and were admitted into our feeding program immediately. All are recovering well except Baby Jorgina.
Meet Baby Jorgina, our newest family member.
Jorgina has been sick with diarrhea and respiratory infections most of October. The father is overwhelmed with his new responsibility of being both mother and father to his 4 older children, and the aunt has failed to properly care for Jorgina.
The father realized Thursday that Jorgina would not survive without better care, and agreed to allow us to accept Jorgina into our family for a year. Our girl’s home is full with 4 of the 6 girls being under 6, so church member Fatima, agreed to love and care for Jorgina.
She’s doing an excellent job. Jorgina is on antibiotics for her respiratory infection, and eating like there is no tomorrow. She is so TINY, that everyone mistakes her for being only a month old, UNTIL SHE GRABS FOR HER BOTTLE! Just try taking it away from her, and you quickly find out she can be VERY persistent in getting it back! She’s quite the cutie and is getting loads of attention from our entire staff.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU, JORGINA, NOW HAS A CHANCE TO BE ALL THAT GOD PLANNED FOR HER TO BE.
Our little Jorgina needs a $30/month sponsor to provide her with baby food/formula, clothing, and the love of her substitute mother.
THE STARVING WIDOW AND ELIJAH STORY COME TO LIFE
Unknown to me and our Pastors, Fatima, (story above) and her 4 children had just run out of food in their home on the day we contacted her! When I asked Dominica, our Woman’s Pastor, to find me a widow who would love Jorgina as her own, Fatima’s name immediately came to mind.
Coincidence? Hardly, as Fatima had told no one but God of her need for food, and HE answered her prayer by telling her to give what she had to Baby Jorgina.
When we did the house inspection, the lack of food was immediately evident. Without hesitation, we organized food for this family. Fatima also needs her roof fixed, as the grass has mostly blown away and she has no latrine. Rainy season is upon us later this month, so we have no time to lose.
Grass to fix the roof will costs $60.
Building her a latrine/bathing area from local materials: $55.
GEARING UP FOR AWANA GAMES
With only 1 set of bean bags, track batons, and tug-o-war rope, we needed to go shopping before we could outfit all our teams with what they needed. As Larry Friend from AWANA Int. left for the airport, Eric took him to our hardware store in Pemba where they fetched plastic pipe for making the batons and colored cloth for the bean bags. Last weekend, I was able to buy the large tug-o-war rope that the kids love so much.
The pipes are now painted the famous 4 colors (blue, red, yellow, and green), and the bean bags are being made on our pedal sewing machine as I write this.
With 3 major food distributions to the orphans in remote villages keeping our small staff super busy this week, our goal is to get the materials ready so that the AWANA programs can begin by Nov. 15th.
Bean Bags Becoming Big Business in our sewing shop.
The kids can hardly wait, as they love playing the games and hearing the Jesus stories in the TRUTH SEEKERS curriculum.
AWANA games provide us many alternative ways to attract children of ALL AGES to Jesus, where soccer limits us to mostly the older children.
Everyone can play these games, with no practice needed.
THANK YOU LARRY FRIEND, and THANK YOU JESUS for such a wonderful program.
SNAKE HUNT INSIDE ERIC’S HOUSE
Eric calmly walks into breakfast yesterday saying he needed our help as a 1 ft. (30cm) black snake had confronted him as he sat in his reading chair in his bedroom on Thursday night. He whacked it with his snake stick, breaking it’s back near the tail, but the snake zipped behind Eric’s very heavy bookcase before Eric could kill it. So after breakfast, our guard put on leather gloves, grabbed his snake killing bamboo rod, and off we went to Eric’s bedroom. The guard carefully began pulling on a board that held a heavy stack of magazines on the floor, under the first shelf of the bookcase. I was stationed at the end of the bookcase with a “slasher” (sharp metal grass cutter with a long handle) to prevent the snake from escaping on that side. As our guard carefully pulled the board out containing the magazines, I was poised ready to strike if the snake was there. Much to our surprise, the snake was there alright, but DEAD, as the weight of the sliding board with the magazines on it had rolled him, crushing him in the process. It appears to be a baby black mamba that slipped through Eric’s septic system into the house via his bathroom.
So “THE BEAR” slept better last night knowing he wouldn’t have a bed partner joining him.
We encounter many snakes but thanks to Jesus’ angels, who are ALWAYS on duty, none have ever been able to strike us.
We keep our eyes open, but when the inevitable encounter happens, we know that JESUS IS STILL OUR MIRACLE SAVIOR WHO KEEPS US UNDER HIS WINGS OF PROTECTION.
WORDS OF WISDOM
AWANA games provide us many alternative ways to attract children of ALL AGES to Jesus, where soccer limits us to mostly the older children.
Everyone can play these games, with no practice needed.
THANK YOU LARRY FRIEND, and THANK YOU JESUS for such a wonderful program.
SNAKE HUNT INSIDE ERIC’S HOUSE
Eric calmly walks into breakfast yesterday saying he needed our help as a 1 ft. (30cm) black snake had confronted him as he sat in his reading chair in his bedroom on Thursday night. He whacked it with his snake stick, breaking it’s back near the tail, but the snake zipped behind Eric’s very heavy bookcase before Eric could kill it. So after breakfast, our guard put on leather gloves, grabbed his snake killing bamboo rod, and off we went to Eric’s bedroom. The guard carefully began pulling on a board that held a heavy stack of magazines on the floor, under the first shelf of the bookcase. I was stationed at the end of the bookcase with a “slasher” (sharp metal grass cutter with a long handle) to prevent the snake from escaping on that side. As our guard carefully pulled the board out containing the magazines, I was poised ready to strike if the snake was there. Much to our surprise, the snake was there alright, but DEAD, as the weight of the sliding board with the magazines on it had rolled him, crushing him in the process. It appears to be a baby black mamba that slipped through Eric’s septic system into the house via his bathroom.
So “THE BEAR” slept better last night knowing he wouldn’t have a bed partner joining him.
We encounter many snakes but thanks to Jesus’ angels, who are ALWAYS on duty, none have ever been able to strike us.
We keep our eyes open, but when the inevitable encounter happens, we know that JESUS IS STILL OUR MIRACLE SAVIOR WHO KEEPS US UNDER HIS WINGS OF PROTECTION.
WORDS OF WISDOM
Never let a bad situation bring out the worst in you.
CHOOSE to stay Positive and BE the STRONG PERSON that GOD created you to be!
With all of our challenges lately, I posted this on my bedroom wall to help keep me focused on JESUS’ WILL and not mine!
Blessings,
Bush Bunny Brenda Lange and the Balama staff
Eric Dry
Melissa Olmesdahl
On being self sufficient by Carolyn Hill
On being self sufficient. My parents lived through the depression with all its hard times. They taught me that if you treat everything as if it might be the last you may ever get then you will never want for anything. For them it was absolutely the last they would see for a long time. Not once did we leave spades and shovels and hoes out in the weather. All tools and tractors, etc were cleaned and put away after every use.
Not once did we use a kitchen knife as a screw driver, flatware was washed and put away immediately after dinner. The young children didn't take kitchen spoons out to dig in the dirt; there were other outside tools to use for that! That tableware was necessary to eat with!
We didn't have potable water on the farm, only wells for the animals and irrigation from the river, so water conservation was a must. We had a huge tank on wheels we hauled water in from town every week. My dad made the trailer to fit the store bought tank. He used axles from an old pickup, can't remember what he made the tongue from, but it worked and looked good.
Nothing was wasted, everything was re-purposed, even the table scraps and bath water in the #2 washtubs, LOL.
We made heavy winter utility quilts using cotton sacks no longer usable in the field, you know those long heavy cotton sacks we drug behind us when picking cotton by hand? (Anyone know what I'm talking about?) The underside of this "quilt" would be bits of no longer usable clothing. My niece still has one of these my mother made in the 40s and she treasures it. It is so heavy I can barely pick it up! Denim was considered very valuable because of its strength. The denim that became to thin to use for patches also went into quilts. That is fashionable now, isn't it?
We cut buttons and zippers off every piece of clothing that went into the "scrap" box. Many times my dresses were flour sack with recycled buttons and they matched!
We saved reusable nails pulled from old wood. In fact we had several huge buckets full of used nails, especially the large ones, can't remember the numbers of the nails used now. Once in awhile when the weather wouldn't permit us outside we would all go to the shed and help straighten and clean and sort those used nails. I still remember my horror the first time I saw someone throw something away without first stripping those large nails from it. That was the first I realized not everyone saved everything like we did. When my father passed in 1975 we all wanted his buckets of nails and his old hammer! There's no telling how old some of those nails are!
We've become a disposable society and if we are to be self sufficient we can no longer live like that. I still have the sewing scissors I used in my first home economics class in 1957, LOL. I have my dad's last file he used for the spades and hoes and it still works! Our hoes would be so sharp they could, and sometimes did if you weren't careful, cut a toe off. I bet few here know what I'm talking about, LOL
Take care of your tools and they will always take care of you.
Being self sufficient is as much a state of mind as anything else. We never thought twice about "prepping" or "re-purposing" or "self sufficiency" but that was exactly what we were doing. We didn't consciously think about it or wonder what we would do with those things we saved; we just knew we would need them at some time in the future. It was a way of life. ~Carolyn
Not once did we use a kitchen knife as a screw driver, flatware was washed and put away immediately after dinner. The young children didn't take kitchen spoons out to dig in the dirt; there were other outside tools to use for that! That tableware was necessary to eat with!
We didn't have potable water on the farm, only wells for the animals and irrigation from the river, so water conservation was a must. We had a huge tank on wheels we hauled water in from town every week. My dad made the trailer to fit the store bought tank. He used axles from an old pickup, can't remember what he made the tongue from, but it worked and looked good.
Nothing was wasted, everything was re-purposed, even the table scraps and bath water in the #2 washtubs, LOL.
We made heavy winter utility quilts using cotton sacks no longer usable in the field, you know those long heavy cotton sacks we drug behind us when picking cotton by hand? (Anyone know what I'm talking about?) The underside of this "quilt" would be bits of no longer usable clothing. My niece still has one of these my mother made in the 40s and she treasures it. It is so heavy I can barely pick it up! Denim was considered very valuable because of its strength. The denim that became to thin to use for patches also went into quilts. That is fashionable now, isn't it?
We cut buttons and zippers off every piece of clothing that went into the "scrap" box. Many times my dresses were flour sack with recycled buttons and they matched!
We saved reusable nails pulled from old wood. In fact we had several huge buckets full of used nails, especially the large ones, can't remember the numbers of the nails used now. Once in awhile when the weather wouldn't permit us outside we would all go to the shed and help straighten and clean and sort those used nails. I still remember my horror the first time I saw someone throw something away without first stripping those large nails from it. That was the first I realized not everyone saved everything like we did. When my father passed in 1975 we all wanted his buckets of nails and his old hammer! There's no telling how old some of those nails are!
We've become a disposable society and if we are to be self sufficient we can no longer live like that. I still have the sewing scissors I used in my first home economics class in 1957, LOL. I have my dad's last file he used for the spades and hoes and it still works! Our hoes would be so sharp they could, and sometimes did if you weren't careful, cut a toe off. I bet few here know what I'm talking about, LOL
Take care of your tools and they will always take care of you.
Being self sufficient is as much a state of mind as anything else. We never thought twice about "prepping" or "re-purposing" or "self sufficiency" but that was exactly what we were doing. We didn't consciously think about it or wonder what we would do with those things we saved; we just knew we would need them at some time in the future. It was a way of life. ~Carolyn
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Sewing, crocheting and knitting
My sister showed me the first picture of an apron and asked it I could make one like it. I said I probably could and then promptly forgot. She reminded me two days ago so yesterday I made the one on the bottom. Now Hannah is going to tie dye it.
I also too one pair of jeans and made two aprons from the top part. I am in the process of making two childrens chefs aprons from the legs and some extra pockets.
I also started a facebook page to showcase and sell my crafts. Please go there and like my page. When I reach 100 likes I am going to do a giveaway. Im just a few likes from it now.
You can see more of what I have been making there.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/259350770842109/443190442458140/?comment_id=444661422311042¬if_t=group_comment#!/pages/Handmade-Crafts-By-Debbie/526361814113600
Oct. 30, 2013
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Missionary update Oct. 26, 2013
From: Bush Bunny Brenda Lange
October 26, 2013
ALL IS QUIET AT THE MOMENT, PRAISE THE
LORD!
After our little scare earlier this week, we are glad for the present peace, even though it may not last.
Seems everyone is re-grouping at the moment, so I want you to know we need your continued prayers for our safety, as it is hard to determine what is really going on “behind the scenes in the bush”.
Larry Friend from AWANA is safely back in the USA as of today, and we are so thankful for the program he left with us.
THE KIDS ARE BEGGING to get started with the AWANA Program, so I have ATOOMANY, our master seamstress, busy making bean bags in the 4 needed colors. Eric bought plastic pipe that we can paint and cut to make the relay batons. All is in progress and we hope to organize the first Awana Club meetings once we jump into November. Our kids are just finishing their school finals this week, so that clears the way for new things to happen.
The BBC, looking great in their new BUSH BIKERS FOR
CHRIST shirts.
On your mark, get set, GO with AWANA style
games.
At first we will be setting up 4 teams as the
BBC (Bush Bikers for Christ) will be taking modified games that can be played
without a games court and the scripture lessons to 15 villages. This will take
some organization, but once all the kinks are worked out, the program will
benefit the 1000+ children they minister to each week.
GOATS GALORE!!!!
GOATS GALORE!!!!
Our 50 mother goats are about to BINGO, and we expect a busy November/December birthing season. I just got in from the barns as our 35 youngsters needed to be dewormed to keep them healthy. It looks like the rains will come earlier than the Nov. 15th date, so it is time to buy the new breeders with the funds given to us by several different donors.
With 50 new ones on the way, our barns are going to literally be “hopping” with little ones. Nothing cuter than a baby goat as they bounce around on their springy little legs, super excited as they play and butt each other.
Nilza, organizing children’s
clothing for over 2000 orphans. A big job and a super blessing to see the
smiles on the children’s faces when they receive their
packet.
Keep your prayers coming. I’m off to Pemba tomorrow for
a needed supply trip.
I’ll be returning with 3 “teachers” from Social Service who will hold a 3 day “REQUIRED” seminar on proper child care for our foster mothers.
So back to the classroom for most of my staff this week.
Blessings,
Bush Bunny Brenda
Eric Dry
Melissa Olmesdahl
I’ll be returning with 3 “teachers” from Social Service who will hold a 3 day “REQUIRED” seminar on proper child care for our foster mothers.
So back to the classroom for most of my staff this week.
Blessings,
Bush Bunny Brenda
Eric Dry
Melissa Olmesdahl
Missionary update Oct. 22, 2013
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From: "Brenda Lange"
Subject: Blog, Oct. 22, 2013 Date: October 22, 2013 9:11:37 AM CDT BUSH BUNNY AND STAFF ALL SAFE Note that the uprising that has begun in the middle part of Moz. is no where near us in Balama. We are all safe and sound, and will be praying protection around all our kids until this settles down. We appreciate your prayers for our safety as well, and will keep you posted on what is going on. LOVE AND HUGS TO ALL OF YOU! BBB |
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Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Free book
http://www.gfa.org/book/afa/?cm_mmc=AFA-_-Email-_-Dedicated-_-B9
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A letter to husbands
http://thechristianpundit.org/2013/10/16/dear-young-christian-husband-with-a-job-and-healthy-wife-who-wants-a-baby/
I’ve never met you—I don’t think your wife has, either, so sorry to break into your day like this. A friend of your wife’s asked me to write and tell you something. Your wife has been trying to tell you for a while, but so far, it doesn’t seem like you can hear: your wife wants a baby.
“Wants” might not be the right word; it might make her desire seem less serious. Did you know that your wife spends a lot of time crying about this – when you’re not around, because she doesn’t want to upset you or disrespect you? She calls her friends up when she needs to talk about this and they do their best to comfort her, but it’s really not much. She avoids the baby section of the grocery store because one time she went through it and ended up sobbing in the parking lot without the groceries. She is not being a suck. She is suffering.
If you want to understand how strong this longing for motherhood is for her, it might help to read the chapters in Genesis about Jacob and his wives, where the barren Rachel comes to a breaking point and says to her husband, “Give me children, or I die!” (Gen. 30:1). She feels like death is inevitable if motherhood is impossible. There’s also the first bit of 1 Samuel, where Hannah can’t eat because she wants a baby so badly. That’s not hyperbole: this intense longing can interfere with your wife’s physical health.
Perhaps you are hesitant to bring a child into this world because you think it’s full enough. A road trip from Pittsburg to Portland will disabuse you of that notion. Often, husbands cite financial concerns when their wives express longing for a baby. I hear that’s the reason you have given to your wife for the delay. Maybe you think you’re being financially wise. Maybe you’re acting like a North American with an entitlement complex. If you are making enough money to provide basic food, shelter, clothing, and transportation, then you have enough money to have a baby.
I only know that because for years we lived below the so-called “poverty line” and had children. We didn’t travel unless we had to, didn’t have a cell phone or tv, went to the movies once (it was Amazing Grace), almost never ate out, managed with one car, and shopped at Goodwill. It was a season; we didn’t know how long it would last, but with careful money use we didn’t have to wait years and years to have children. I had a husband who understood my need to mother and the obviously biblical principle that children bring more blessing than cable or a second car or Friday nights at Applebee’s. So we could afford to have children. We have never regretted the trade-off of entertainment and convenient transportation for kids.
If that sounds draconian to you, ask yourself if your money is going to needs or wants. Would you spend nights awake crying for a playoffs ticket, like your wife does for a baby? Are you willing to give up some luxuries and make some adjustments in order to welcome a child into this world? Your wife would.
If you have an income, are healthy, and your wife wants a baby and is healthy, there probably isn’t a valid excuse to delay children. In fact, you could be keeping her from her very biblical longing to fulfill this very biblical calling. What we usually need is not financial security but a biblical alignment to our thinking in this area. Maybe husbands just need more love for their wives. What your wife is trying to respect as your “leadership” actually looks more like misleadership. Are you thinking primarily about your wife, serving her, laying down your life for her as Christ did for the Church, and seeing children as God’s reward to the godly (Ps. 127:3)? Or is this decision coming from selfishness or fear? Is it that you don’t want the work or the cost or the responsibility, or that you’re afraid of them?
Perhaps thinking a little further down the road will help build perspective. Maybe, when you’re finally ready for a baby, your wife will have a difficult time conceiving and bearing children. When you finally decide that you’re comfortable, she might be at a stage where being pregnant and giving birth takes a permanent toll on her health. You don’t hear these sorts of stories because you’re a guy, so I’ll let you in on a couple: the woman whose husband finally agreed to have a baby but she was past peak fertility and they spent thousands at a fertility clinic, being poked and examined, before anything “happened”. Or the woman whose husband finally agreed but now her body just wasn’t up for the natural delivery that she wanted and she haemorrhaged and had to have emergency surgery to save her life and took almost a year to recover. You might want to consider those sorts of scenarios as you decide when you are ready.
Maybe, when you’re finally ready, your wife won’t be able to bear children anymore. You will have permanently taken away her opportunity to give birth to a baby. How is that going to affect your marriage? She’s working hard right now to respect you and follow your leadership. That can evaporate under a burning bitterness towards you as it becomes clear that you were being selfish as you denied her the opportunity to be a mother. Even if you eventually decide (and can afford) to adopt, you will still bear the guilt of seriously and fundamentally denying your wife.
I really hope that your lack of response to your wife comes from a lack of understanding her and her situation. I really hope it’s not a lack of maturity or biblical thinking or love that’s behind this delay. If the issue is a lack of understanding, the two of you should be able to resolve it. But if it’s something else that’s keeping you from having a baby, it seems as though what you need is not more income, but pastoral counseling. Your minister should be able to explore the personal and theological issues behind this, helping you deal with either the fear or the selfishness by pointing you to the cross and the strength and selflessness that can be found through life in Christ. Just as being a godly husband is possible in Christ, so is being a good father. Both selfishness and fear can be overcome by men who are indwelt by the Spirit, seeking to love their wives as Christ did the Church.
Praying for you both.
This is just how it feels.
Dear Young, Christian Husband With a Job and Healthy Wife Who Wants a Baby
“Wants” might not be the right word; it might make her desire seem less serious. Did you know that your wife spends a lot of time crying about this – when you’re not around, because she doesn’t want to upset you or disrespect you? She calls her friends up when she needs to talk about this and they do their best to comfort her, but it’s really not much. She avoids the baby section of the grocery store because one time she went through it and ended up sobbing in the parking lot without the groceries. She is not being a suck. She is suffering.
If you want to understand how strong this longing for motherhood is for her, it might help to read the chapters in Genesis about Jacob and his wives, where the barren Rachel comes to a breaking point and says to her husband, “Give me children, or I die!” (Gen. 30:1). She feels like death is inevitable if motherhood is impossible. There’s also the first bit of 1 Samuel, where Hannah can’t eat because she wants a baby so badly. That’s not hyperbole: this intense longing can interfere with your wife’s physical health.
Perhaps you are hesitant to bring a child into this world because you think it’s full enough. A road trip from Pittsburg to Portland will disabuse you of that notion. Often, husbands cite financial concerns when their wives express longing for a baby. I hear that’s the reason you have given to your wife for the delay. Maybe you think you’re being financially wise. Maybe you’re acting like a North American with an entitlement complex. If you are making enough money to provide basic food, shelter, clothing, and transportation, then you have enough money to have a baby.
I only know that because for years we lived below the so-called “poverty line” and had children. We didn’t travel unless we had to, didn’t have a cell phone or tv, went to the movies once (it was Amazing Grace), almost never ate out, managed with one car, and shopped at Goodwill. It was a season; we didn’t know how long it would last, but with careful money use we didn’t have to wait years and years to have children. I had a husband who understood my need to mother and the obviously biblical principle that children bring more blessing than cable or a second car or Friday nights at Applebee’s. So we could afford to have children. We have never regretted the trade-off of entertainment and convenient transportation for kids.
If that sounds draconian to you, ask yourself if your money is going to needs or wants. Would you spend nights awake crying for a playoffs ticket, like your wife does for a baby? Are you willing to give up some luxuries and make some adjustments in order to welcome a child into this world? Your wife would.
If you have an income, are healthy, and your wife wants a baby and is healthy, there probably isn’t a valid excuse to delay children. In fact, you could be keeping her from her very biblical longing to fulfill this very biblical calling. What we usually need is not financial security but a biblical alignment to our thinking in this area. Maybe husbands just need more love for their wives. What your wife is trying to respect as your “leadership” actually looks more like misleadership. Are you thinking primarily about your wife, serving her, laying down your life for her as Christ did for the Church, and seeing children as God’s reward to the godly (Ps. 127:3)? Or is this decision coming from selfishness or fear? Is it that you don’t want the work or the cost or the responsibility, or that you’re afraid of them?
Perhaps thinking a little further down the road will help build perspective. Maybe, when you’re finally ready for a baby, your wife will have a difficult time conceiving and bearing children. When you finally decide that you’re comfortable, she might be at a stage where being pregnant and giving birth takes a permanent toll on her health. You don’t hear these sorts of stories because you’re a guy, so I’ll let you in on a couple: the woman whose husband finally agreed to have a baby but she was past peak fertility and they spent thousands at a fertility clinic, being poked and examined, before anything “happened”. Or the woman whose husband finally agreed but now her body just wasn’t up for the natural delivery that she wanted and she haemorrhaged and had to have emergency surgery to save her life and took almost a year to recover. You might want to consider those sorts of scenarios as you decide when you are ready.
Maybe, when you’re finally ready, your wife won’t be able to bear children anymore. You will have permanently taken away her opportunity to give birth to a baby. How is that going to affect your marriage? She’s working hard right now to respect you and follow your leadership. That can evaporate under a burning bitterness towards you as it becomes clear that you were being selfish as you denied her the opportunity to be a mother. Even if you eventually decide (and can afford) to adopt, you will still bear the guilt of seriously and fundamentally denying your wife.
I really hope that your lack of response to your wife comes from a lack of understanding her and her situation. I really hope it’s not a lack of maturity or biblical thinking or love that’s behind this delay. If the issue is a lack of understanding, the two of you should be able to resolve it. But if it’s something else that’s keeping you from having a baby, it seems as though what you need is not more income, but pastoral counseling. Your minister should be able to explore the personal and theological issues behind this, helping you deal with either the fear or the selfishness by pointing you to the cross and the strength and selflessness that can be found through life in Christ. Just as being a godly husband is possible in Christ, so is being a good father. Both selfishness and fear can be overcome by men who are indwelt by the Spirit, seeking to love their wives as Christ did the Church.
Praying for you both.
This is just how it feels.
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