This is what I told my kids a long time ago

DON'T MESS WITH MOM
My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his faceHe decided he was smart enough to put me in my place.
"Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright?It's all about the laws today, The 'Children's Bill of Rights'."
"It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hairNo one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear."
"I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you sayI don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray."
"I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue and noseI can read and watch just what I like, and get tattoos from head to toe."
"And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crimeI'll back up all my charges with the marks on my behind."
"Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my useNot for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse."
"Don't preach about your morals like your Mama did to youThat's nothing more than mind control, and it's illegal too!"
"Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence meOr I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S.D."
Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the doorBut the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this goA smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro.
The next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill StoreI told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore."
"I've called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn't careIf I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs."
"And I've cancelled that appointment to take your driver's testThe C.S.D. is unconcerned, so I'll decide what's best."
"I said no time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munchAnd tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch."
"Just save the raging appetite and wait till dinner timeWe're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine."
He asked "Can I please rent a movie to watch on my VCR?""Sorry, but I sold your TV for new tires on my car."
"I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch insteadAll the C.S.D. requires is a roof for over your head."
"Your clothing won't be trendy now, and I'll choose what we eatThat allowance that you used to get will buy me something neat."
"I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike and roller bladesCheck out the 'Parents Bill of Rights,' it's in effect today!"
"Hey hot shot, are you crying, and why are you on your knees?Are you asking God to help you out instead of C.S.D..?"- AUTHOR UNKNOWN -