I am having a hard time with a (sister) who seems to believe she can say anything she wants to someone and hurt them as badly as she can, as long as she says she is sorry. Three times in three days she has done this to us. The girls just slip quietly into their room and stay there, leaving me to bear the verbal barrage. When she is done with her snit fit she then DEMANDS that I forgive her for having a fit, my word not hers. Once I said I would try and that led to another outburst.
I just know that if I were not already a Christian and she was my example, it would be the last thing I would want to be.
I know the Bible says:
Mat 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Mat 18:22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Let me tell you this verse is easier to read than to live. I just feel like I am being attacked. I get all shaky and scared feeling.
I know I only have a few days left and then we can be free from her. The pastors are coming back on Saturday morning and we had planned to stay until Monday but I am sure I cant take it that long. I am having a hard time saying I will stay until Sunday morning. I want to pick them up at the airport and skedaddle as fast as I can.
I know the scripture says to forgive a brother 70 x7 but it also says when we repent we are to go and sin no more.
Joh 8:11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
If I say yes I will forgive you when I don't feel like it am I lying? If I just say I will forgive to get her off my back at the time and then later in my own quite place I try to forgive is that lying? If we (repent) and then do the same thing again and again, is that even repenting?
5 comments:
I am sorry you are going through this...
I know that the Bible says to forgive, and I am all for that, whenthe person you are forgiving is actually SORRY for what they have done...
It seems to me that this sister is just saying that she is sorry, and doesn't truly seem to mean it.
I'm not as good a person as you... I would have let her have it after the 1st outburst.
At least you will be away from the entire situation soon. Good luck, until then! 8-)
Well Lamb Chop, the first time she did this I did end up screaming Leave me alone, leave me alone. She just looked at me and kept it up. I was so surprised. If someone had yelled leave me alone, I think I would have. Its actually funny reading it, living it not so much.
You can forgive someone, but that doesn't meant you have to put up with it. Forgiveness need not put your common sense on hold. If anyone should be demanding anything, it would be to respectfully tell her to leave you alone. And then ignore her behavior. You cannot change her. And it would be a waste of time to try, but you can stay away from her. You are in charge of you. If you need to leave early, do it! There is nothing wrong with that! In time, you'll be able to feel more forgiveness in your heart, but if you have an open wound and kept pouring salt into it, it would not heal very fast. It will take time to "feel" the forgiveness. Give yourself a break, Sweetheart. You are trying SO hard to do the right thing. Give yourself as much credit as you would one of your daughters! Praying for you here.
If this is happening in your own home, you need to know boundaries. I had an exact situation like this with one of my sibs. It took its toll on my body, mind and spirit. After awhile, all I saw was she was a tool of the enemy, so long the abuse went on. Cut her off; I get "praying for you" cards now. When there is no fruit in a person bashing you that they are saved, yet demand to have christian behavior extended to them: put them far away from you. Let them fall far enough so they'll cry out to God on their own. With my sister, she treated her dog better than me. Literally. That was 3 years ago...the last time I saw or would speak to her personally. Our father is very old and ill. The last conversation she shouted, "Love you, Eileen!" which was weird for me. "Love you too, 'X'". I said that more out of duty. I don't have God's love for her, but will not speak badly to or about her. Mental, verbal, physical...etc. abuse is not only a sin, but nowadays considered a crime. If you wouldn't have any other kind of attacker in your home, why have one simply because you share the same parents? While Jesus was smited quite a few times, he didn't hang around his attackers, kwim? They didn't 'chill' out together, so they could smite him over and over, apologizing like lunatics. Your sister and mine have no idea what forgiveness they are in need of. That's why they can spin death out of their mouths. That's right. Striking, humiliating, in my case - laughing at... in front of family or alone - I was in the presence of darkness. God helped me know it was okay for my home - where He dwells - is not to be anything but a safe haven. I'll pray for you.
Very, Very sorry you are having to deal with this! Sometimes people just don't get when enough is enough. :( Hope your trip is going well otherwise. I posted finally on my blog and put up the recipe I was telling you about. :D
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